Heterosexual Questionnaire

Now, some of you may look at this and think it's pretety funny... and it is, I think... but look a little deeper. How would you feel if, day after day, you were asked these kinds of intrusive questions about your sexuality? If you saw and heard things like this debated among your family, coworkers, and community? Kinda sucks, dunnit?

HETEROSEXUAL QUESTIONAIRE

1. What do you think caused your heterosexuality?

2. When and how did you decide you were a heterosexual?

3. Is it possible that your heterosexuality is just a phase that you may grow out of?

4. Is it possible that your heterosexuality stems from a neurotic fear of others of the same sex?

5. If you have never slept with a person of the same sex, is it possible that all you need is a good gay lover?

6. Do your parents know that you are straight? Do your friends and/or roommates know?

7. Why do you insist on flaunting your heterosexuality? Can't you just be who you are and keep it quiet?

8. Why do heterosexuals place so much emphasis on sex?

9. Why do heterosexuals feel so compelled to introduce others to their lifestyle?

10. A disproportionate majority of child molesters are heterosexual. Do you consider it safe to expose children to heterosexual teachers?

11. Just what do men and women do in bed together? How can they truly know how to please each other, being so anatomically different?

12. With all the societal support marriage receives, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships between heterosexuals?

13. Statistics show that lesbians have the lowest of sexually transmitted disease. Is it really safe for a woman to maintain a heterosexual lifestyle and run the risk of disease and pregnancy?

14. How can you expect to become a whole person if you limit yourself to compulsive, exclusive heterosexuality?

15. Considering the menace of overpopulation, how could the human race survive if everyone were heterosexual?

16. Could you trust a heterosexual therapist to be objective? Don't you feel that (s)he might be inclined to influence you in the direction of his/her own orientation?

17. There seem to be very few happy heterosexuals. Techniques have been developed that might enable you change if you really want to. Have you ever considered aversion therapy?

18. Would you want your child to be heterosexual, knowing the problems (s)he would face?

Duh Part Deux

Oh, and let's not forget... a studio exec is blasting Lindsay Lohan for staying out late and partying all night while she's shooting a movie.

well, DUH.

The Duh Files

Let's start today with a letter that appeared in "Dear Abby" this week... a mother wrote in about her 8 year old daughter who is bullying another child: "Abby, Emma's a straight-A student, loved by all of her other friends, their parents, her teachers, our pastor, etc. She's involved in theater, sings, dances, ice skates competitively, cheerleads, races motocross and plays piano. She is very well-behaved at home, and we have no trouble with her. I just don't understand what's going on. When I ask her, she doesn't have an explanation, but truly feels bad for hurting her friend." Dear Abby suggested that maybe the little girl is overscheduled and feels out of control.

Well, DUH.

Then let's move on to Miss Puerto Rico, who was crowned Miss Universe. Eighteen years old, under stress, under hot lights, wearing a dress made entirely of metal chains, she passes out shortly after being crowned.

Well, DUH.

And finally, Lance Bass's big revelation this week. Number one, he was in a boy band. Number two, his name is Lance. He makes the announcement this week that he is, in fact, gay.

Well, DUH.

What next? A landmark study that indicates the most reliable way to lose weight is to eat less and exercise? A poll showing that America has strong feelings about the war in Iraq? The revelation that Keith Richards has been clinically dead for at least 15 years? Do they think we don't know these things?!?!?!

July 28 RMM Weird Quote of the Day

"What was that, young lady? Come here, I'm going to sit on you..."

Alas, Poor Britney...

Well, folks, it's pretty darn scary when I get to feeling sorry for li'l ol' Britney Spears, but that is the oddly disturbing situation in which I find myself these days.

I've never liked the girl. Never. NEV - ER. I never thought she particularly had any musical talent. Semi-talented in writhing around a stage doing what passes for dancing these days, but certainly nothing special in the vocal department. And, call me crazy, but I expect professional singers to be... well... good at it, ya know? But I digress... I never really liked the girl. I thought she was overrated, overproduced, overmarketed... Britney Spears as product, not person. But I find myself feeling pretty bad for her these days.

Let's face it... I know how she feels... bright enough young lady, certainly had things going for her... made some mistakes, but for the most part, could have recovered... and then... hooks up with some trailer-trash scumbucket leech (while his ex-girlfriend was still pregnant with his baby - hello, didn't that set off ANY warning bells, Brit?)... now she's, what, 24? Pregnant with her second child when her first one isn't even a year old... and when she's shown definite and very public signs of not being really up to the task... The whole tripping-and-almost-dropping-the-kid thing really was overblown by the media. Who among us hasn't had a near-miss with a baby? Though most mothers do have the good sense to PUT DOWN THE LATTE WHEN WE'RE ABOUT TO DROP THE KIDLET!!!! But what I can't get over is the driving with the baby in her lap, when she had a bodyguard with her in the first place... There's really no excuse for that, chica... "Oh, the papparazzi were putting us in danger!!!" Ummm... yeah... 'cause when you wreck the car and he goes flying through the windshield, you don't want him to fly straight into a camera... But back on subject...

I know how she feels. I, too , was a young, inexperienced mother married to a man who was nothing but a drain on my energy, my finances, my self-esteem, and my credibility and respectability among family and friends. I, too, kept sticking it out, so sure that he was on the verge of stepping up to the plate and being everything I knew he could be. I, too, figured that children would settle him and make him more responsible. And then, when the children were born, I held on, feeling I didn't have the strength, the resources, the money to leave and try to do it all on my own.

But guess what, Britney? I did leave. (And one of these days, I'll even get the legal divorce to prove it.) And I did it without the multi-million dollar career that MIGHT still be salvageable for you. I did it without my own line of perfume, without record royalties, without a little help from friends like Madonna... So I'm pretty sure you can do it. Come on, little girl... stop playing house, dump the loser, and get on with your life while you still have one. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for your children, and prove to the world once and for all what a good mother you really can be.

Drumroll, Please

It is decided... today I completed my application for Regis University's Master of Nonprofit Management program. All I have left is to sort out my financial aid, send in my application fee, and send them my transcripts... and then wait to see if they will accept me. I got advice from several people, but mostly from Cole (whom I trust regarding all things business/professional) and The Best Mentor Ever (whom I trust regarding all things social work/nonprofit/professional)... If all goes well, I will begin a 24-month adventure toward greater employability, on the day the Littlest Diva turns five years old.

I feel suspiciously like I stepped off a cliff. Of course, the last time I felt like this, it was off a cliff and onto a cloud, and I spent the next several months in heaven. So I have good expectations. Wish me luck!

Madness...

I thought I'd seen everything, but this... this is surely a sign of the Apocalypse.

I was skimming through one of the least useful of the major nationwide job-hunting websites, and ran across an ad for - get this - a Director of First Impressions. Hmm.. Director, but with a salary in the mid-20s to low 30s. So I had to take a look and see exactly what that meant. Basically, from what I can see, they're looking for a receptionist.

Now, inflated titles have always amused me, particularly since I started working in workforce development. In the nonprofit world, there are things called specialists. "Specialist," at least in my field, is a glorified assistant/peon. And then there were my customers who were pursuing "degrees" to become things like a "nail technician" or "Microsoft Office specialist" or something. But "Director of First Impressions?!?!?!" That takes the cake. So I guess I need to revise my resume to include other things I have been, both professionally and non-professionally.

For example, I've been a "reproductive engineer" on three separate occasions. I've apparently been a "marketing specialist" (made flyers and brochures), a "copier repair technician, specializing in percussive maintenenace" (bang on the copier until it works again), a "communications specialist" (figured out how to set up a distribution list in Outlook), and a diplomat (listened to people bitch about co-workers and make appropriately sympathetic, if noncommittal, noises). I've been a corporate trainer (mostly teaching co-workers how to do things) and researcher (looking things up on the Internet for people who can't seem to manage that themselves). I'm also apparently a caterer and an entertainer. Why, with all the things I have done, it's amazing there isn't a line of people at the front door, waiting to hire me...

Good/Bad Texan Joke

Warning, it's a li'l naughty...

Two men from Texas were sitting at a bar when a young lady nearby began to choke on a hamburger. She gasped and gagged.

One Texan turned to the other and said, “That little gal is havin‘ a bad time. I’m agonna go over there and help.”

He ran over to the young lady, held both sides of her head in his hands and asked “Kin ya swaller?”

Gasping, she shook her head no.

He asked, “Kin ya breathe?”

Still gasping, she again shook her head no.

With that he yanked up her skirt, pulled down her underwear and stuck his tongue in her ass. The young woman was so shocked that she coughed up the bit of hamburger that was stuck and began to breathe on her own. The Texan sat back down with his friend and said, “Ya know, it’s sure amazin' how that hind-lick maneuver always works!”

Walk Away

When I was a very little girl, I had a huge crush on Shaun Cassidy (my mother always called him Shaun Crappity). The other day, I started hearing one of his songs in my head... just the chorus; I can't even remember the tune of the verses. Maybe I can dig up a recording and see if I can figure out exactly why this one is pushing into my brain. Meanwhile...

Do you remember when
Life was simple and plain to see
Easier to pretend
Than to close the door and turn the key
Living and hoping and
Laughing and crying
Touching and feeling and
Dreaming and dying
Life without love
Is a life that's denying the heart

Walk away, leave me as you found me
To the world around me
Turn your back and walk away

Do you remember when
We were young and unashamed
We let even then
We were learning to play the game
Living and hoping and
Laughing and crying
Touching and feeling and
Dreaming and dying
Life without love
Is a life that's denying the heart

Walk away, leave me as you found me
To the world around me
Turn your back and walk away

Walk away, leave me as you found me
To the world around me
Turn your back and walk away
Walk away, leave me as you found me
To the world around me
Turn your back and walk away

My New Boyfriend

Leave it to me, in Colorado for 32 days and I've found a new boyfriend. Except this one found me. My mom and I took the girls to the park, a different one from the one we usually go to. It was late afternoon and the sun was hanging low in the sky, casting rays across the surface of Lake Loveland.

He approached my mother first, with a surprise hug from behind, followed with a little small talk. We shook our heads in wonder when he walked away. About half an hour later, I felt his arms around me and small kisses across my back before he brought his face close to mine. I looked into his dark brown eyes, with surprisingly long eyelashes, and smiled, listening to his soft, melodic voice as he whispered in my ear.

I still don't know his name, but I know all I need to know.

I know that he's three years old. (And that he apparently has a thing for curvy redheads.)

RMM Weird Quote of the Day, July 21

"So it's open season on Bita's toes?!?!?!"

Smile a While for Me

Once, a long, long time ago, I had a very dear and wonderful friend, and on occasion he called me Sara Smile, after the song. In fact, on occasion, he would serenade me with it, half-teasing and half-loving. Now I use it as an ID in certain circles, and I find it comforting. Not just as an ego-booster pretty song with my name in it, but as a reminder of him and of the proverbial simpler, more innocent time.

Baby hair with a woman's eyes
I can feel you watching in the night
All alone with me and we're waiting for the sunlight

When I feel cold you warm me
When I feel I can't go on you come and hold me
It's you... And me forever
Sara Smile
Oh Won't you smile a while for me, Sara

If you feel like leaving you know you can go
But why don't you stay until tomorrow?
And if you want to be free,
all you have to do is say so

When you feel cold, I'll warm you
And when you feel you can't go on, I'll come and hold you
It's you... And me forever
Sara Smile
Oh Won't you smile a while for me, Sara

Crossroads

"I'm standin' at the crossroads, believe I'm sinkin' down." - Robert Johnson

Well, I'm not contemplating selling my soul to the devil. At least not yet. But there's a definite crossroads here, in several ways. You see, the plan was move here, get a job immediately, transfer to University of Denver to finish my MSW, and somehow manage to juggle school, a rewarding career, and oh yeah, being the mother the Divas really deserve.

So, one month later I still don't have work. Some of the leads I've gotten have wound up being just not right for me... whether it was me thinking they weren't right, or the employer thinking I wasn't right. The why is irrelevant, the point is I'm still not working. Which of course means I have taken the time to complete my UD application and I'm all set to get back on track with that, barely skipping a beat, right?

Nope. Haven't done it yet. To be honest, I'm not sure I'm ready, at least while I'm still not working. And then tonight, as I was applying for a job with another area college, I noticed that they have a very interesting program. A Master of Nonprofit Management degree. As in, a Master's level program in the same thing for which I have an undergrad-level certification. Plus, their program can be done at least partly online. And in skimming it briefly, it seems I wouldn't have to do any kind of internship/externship/field placement/whatever, because of the nonprofit experience I already have.

Tempting.

Several dilemmas, though. One, can I afford it? I would have to find out if I can apply for Stafford Loans for that program - and since my current loans have me pursuing an MSW, would changing majors affect it? Two, am I absolutely positive that I want to manage a nonprofit, to the point that I'd jettison the social work degree, which is three a very versatile degree - much more versatile than nonprofit management? Four, how does this impact the PhD in social work that I've considered going after eventually? Five, how the hell am I going to afford to send my kids to college when I'm busy paying off my own staggering student loan debt, no matter WHAT degree I wind up getting?

And six... to be painfully and bluntly honest, I'm great with ideas, sometimes not as good with follow-through. I know I can finish a Master's degree in something. I know I can put it to good use. Good enough, anyway. But I often think I may be too lazy to really live up to my potential. I mean, I haven't done so well up to this point. If I'd stayed with the original plan, I'd be a successful architect right now, with my own firm, which would be named one of the top companies to work for by "Working Mother" magazine, for my free on-site child care for all employees, flexible schedules, work-from-home opportunities, and generous paid maternity leave. At 32, I might have a couple of children by now, but certainly not one who is already in the double digits with age. Not that I regret my daughters for a moment, and not that I really regret where life has taken me. In some ways, I am a much better and more useful person than I would have been had I stuck with the plan. But at the same time... there's such a big sense of what-if sometimes... Especially on these late nights, when I'm staring lengthy unemployment and hopeless dependence in the face. And let me tell you... those are NOT fun. I'm standing at the crossroads...

And I don't even have Steve Vai for company.

Trust

I know God will not give me anything that I can't handle.
I just wish He didn't trust me so much.
~Mother Theresa~

Boy, do I know that feeling.

I'm nervous. I'm not working yet. Bills are piling up, money is tight. And today, the van broke down again. Yep. The van broke down again. But this time she broke down in Aurora, which is about an hour away, on the other side of Denver. I was taking the Divas to KidSpree. It seemed like a good idea at the time, a festival for kids with free activities and entertainment. And I really thought the Magic Bus would be all right. We were almost to Aurora when she died the first time. And we were actually on our way into the mall parking lot to catch the shuttle to the park, when she died the fourth and final time, and made it clear to me that she would not be revived without some serious mechanical attention. Thank God for AAA, and for the wonderful and helpful people at Aurora Hills Automotive; it will be fixed within the week. Moreover, thanks to the lovely, talented and unbelievably generous Chelle, who is funding the repairs since I have no income.

Now, I know that all of this is happening for a reason. And I know that God, Great Spirit, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, or whatever you call your version of Supreme Being(s), has a reason for putting me through this. And I know that whatever S/He has in store for me is no more than I can handle. But sometimes... I think S/He overestimates my capabilities.

What the Hell Has Happened to Customer Service?

Normally, I am a very good, polite, respectful, understanding customer. As much time as I've spent in thankless customer service/retail/food service jobs, I do know how it feels to be blamed for things that aren't my fault. But still, these last few days have been agony, and I'm wondering how some people even have jobs...

Let's start with my cell phone issues. For the sake of not getting sued, I'll tell you a story about my cell phone company, ShortFastRun. Now, I relocated here to Colorado just over three weeks ago. Kept my 281 (Houston) area code and number while transitioning, but finally decided if people are going to need to call me for jobs, it's best if I have a local number. So I dial their little "*2" customer service line, and that's when the fun begins. You see, first of all, I have to go through the little automated voice to be directed correctly. Five times, I call. Five times, I hear the "series of tones" that indicates I'm being connected to a representative. And five times, I get disconnected. So admittedly, by the time I reach an actual human being, I'm already a little irritated. After notifying her that someone may want to check on why their system is randomly disconnecting callers, I begin to outline my situation. I've moved from Houston, TX, to Loveland, CO. I would now like a Loveland, CO phone number for my phone. She taps a few keys, and tells me she can give me a number with area code 281, 713, or 832. Those are all Houston area codes. I tell her I must not have made myself clear; I have left Texas and moved to Colorado, and I need a Colorado phone number. She tells me (a mite huffily, I might add) that she can only give me what the computer says she can give, and the computer says 281, 713, or 832. I ask her if, if I happen to call at the wrong time, I will be randomly assigned a Nebraska phone number if that "what the computer says she can give." She tells me again, that the computer will only allow one of those three zip codes. In the middle of attempting to explain it to her yet another time, I finally get upset enough to say, "You know what, just forget it. Give me a supervisor. Give me a supervisor RIGHT NOW." Then I get the backpedal, the ma'am-I'm-trying-to-help-you-but-my-hands-are-tied speech, to which I reply that I don't really care what the computer says, just give me a supervisor NOW. She tells me that she will put me on hold for a supervisor, but not before telling me that I really don't need to be taking it out on her. Normally I would agree, but in this case... So I listen to Muzak for a while, knowing that she is telling her supervisor all about this crazy witch on the phone. FInally, a smooth-talking guy comes on. I explain my situation, and only then does he tell me that when I changed my billing/mailing address online, I did not change my service area. Because their system still had Houston as my service area, the computer was trying to give me a Houston number. Which left me to wonder why, if he figured it out so easily, she could not have done the same thing. After being given my new number and told it could take a couple of hours to take effect, I hang up, satisfied. Four hours later, I'm less satisfied, as the new number is not working properly. I call into customer service again, and hear the voice of an angel... because THIS lovely woman, unlike her peers, actually gave a damn about helping. When I explained the phone number switch, she said in a puzzled voice, "You mean nobody gave you the code to punch in to activate the new number?"

Damn jerk supervisor.

But at least now I have a Colorado number!!!

On to the second customer service issue. I have a couple of different e mail addresses, but the one I used most frequently is from the provider called... ummm... Yippee! For some reason, along about Wednesday afternoon, I became unable to sign into my primary account. The one to which my Messenger and ummm... "180" profile are attached, which effectively locks me out of all three types of communication. Now granted, I have one of the ever-popular free accounts with them. Perhaps the free account customers like myself are not much of a priority to them. Because I put in a call to their customer service department. Their representative was quite nice, and quite unable to do anything for me after I explained to her that I have moved so many times in the last 5-10 years that I can't recall what my zip code was at the time of registration. So I had tried several different zip codes when attempting to reset my password, which made this a job for Account Security. She helpfully gave me an e mail address to use to contact them. It is now nearing 60 hours later, and I'm still playing e mail tag, mostly with automated responses. They wanted 8 pieces of information from when I registered - things like the zip code I used (which I had already indicated in my initial e mail as the problem in the first place), an alternate e mail address (I used my warmguy address), and my security question-and-answer. Think about that... they didn't give me the question and then request the answer... they wanted ME to give THEM both question and answer... now if I don't even remember exactly where I lived when I registered, do you think I remember what question I used?!?!? Morons... so finally, after the multi-part pop quiz, they requested an alternate, non-Yippee address for the purpose of resetting my password. My response was to remind them that I had already provided one, in response to their earlier question. I now wait, checking my warmguy account every few minutes, hoping that the Yippee gods will smile and let me back into my account.

They do NOT want to piss me off...

July 14th RMM Weird Quote(s) of the Day

"Please don't Riverdance in the swimming pool bathroom!"

"Your grandmother is a weregoose."

July 12 RMM Weird Quote(s) of the Day

"Get that monkey out of the lounge!!!"

"Get that monkey out of your mouth!!!"

"Get that monkey off the table!!!"

Bet y'all didn't know there even was a monkey in the game of "Clue"...

Six Degrees of Humiliation

On June 3rd of this year, Casey Affleck (brother of Ben) married Summer Phoenix (sister of Joaquin), his longtime girlfriend and mother of his son. The full implication of this hit me only this morning.

Ben Affleck and Joaquin Phoenix are in-laws.

Take my hand, won't you, and walk with me as we journey to Thanksgiving, 2016, in the household of the senior Afflecks...

The family is gathered in the family room as Mother Affleck walks in, wiping her hands with a dishtowel. The daughters-in-law follow carrying trays laden with slices of pumpkin pie covered in whipped cream. After everyone is served, Father Affleck suggests that, since the football games are over for the day, perhaps they should pop a movie in the ol' DVD player.

"Hey, Grampa!" pipes up little Violet. Sensing what is about to transpire, Jennifer Garner begins gesturing wildly, catching the attention of everyone but her sweet, clueless daughter. Her expression turns from panic to resignation as Violet continues, "Let's watch one of Daddy's movies!"

An awkward silence fills the room. That is, until her cousin Indiana loudly declares, "Vi... your Daddy's movies suck. Let's watch 'Walk the Line' or 'Signs' instead."

Fade to black...

July 10 RMM Weird Quotes of the Day

"So, basically, we have spastic alligators on the floor."

"Will you zip up my tree?"

"I already ate 5 Larrys... and 3 Bobs..."

"Larry was a healthy cucumber... and Bob will miss him... so I will put him out of his misery."

My Day With Spike, and Today's RMM Weird Quote of the day

Today's adventure actually started two and a half weeks ago. That's when Spike was driving the van (recently dubbed "The Magic Bus" but so far lacking a spectacular psychadelic paint job in bluetones) from Texas to Colorado, having come down to help spring me and the Divas. More to the point, that's when Spike rolled down the driver's side window while the car was overheating and we had to turn the A/C off. In the Texas Panhandle. In June. Yeah. So anywho, you may or may not know/remember, that the driver's side window of the Magic Bus is not to be rolled down, under any but the most dire of circumstances. This is because, once down, it will not roll back up. So for the past... let me count... 17 days, the window has been stuck down. Today, we went ahead and took ol' MB to the Nissan repair place, where we had to have it put up for us, and then the switch disconnected. Later, when I have a job, I will get it replaced, but meanwhile the window will not be rolled down. Nor, thanks to an oddity of engineering, can the passenger side window. But I digress.

So, as we begin the long wait for the service on MB to even begin, the guy at the shop tells us that he can have their shuttle driver drop us off anywhere we need to go. Both Spike's and my eyes light up when the guy suggests the mall. I rarely mall-shop anymore, it's too expensive; I often tell people that if it can't be found at Wal-Mart, it can't be found in my house. But the occasional window-shopping is harmless. So we ventured to the mall, and into a bookstore.

A bookstore is to me as a book-burning is to religious fundamentalists. It is my Nirvana. Spike and I quickly went our separate ways to look at our own types of books. When we were about ready to head out, we showed each other the fun things we had found. The most interesting one I found (well, aside from the mildly disturbing, comic-esque book of bunny suicides, and the highly overpriced pop-up book of phobias) was called "This Book Will Change Your Life." Since there is really no way I can describe it, click here for the link and look halfway down the page. Be sure to check out the excerpts, and pay special attention to the symmetry one. That was where the day's entertainment took off. See, the bookstore has this little padded bench-like thingy. (That's a technical term.) And since we had time to kill, we sat there thumbing through the book. That particular page caught Spike's eye, and next thing you know, he had taken out some sort of all-purpose survival tool he carries and flipped it out to where it makes a small ruler. Then he proceeded to measure my face. Only if you'll notice, the instructions don't tell you what to measure IN, so at first we were measuring inches... then converted to centimeters... then for some reason looked into millimeters. We did my face three times, Spike's only once, but after the first try we realized we could add the measurements on the calculators of our cell phones. thus eliminating the possibility of incorrect addition (though still leaving incorrect conversion between English and metric, but never mind). For my face we kept coming up with different numbers... never in the mid-range though... so I am either in the top 10% in terms of facial attractiveness, or I need to go join the carnival freak show now. Of course, all this was accomplished with much giggling on my part, and more than a few amused, annoyed, and/or worried glances from store employees and fellow shoppers alike.

And so we come to the RMM Weird Quote of the Day:
"You never look at someone's face until you look at their face."

New Feature

I'll do my best to update this every day. The backstory: It gets mighty interesting in a house of 7 people, particularly when it's the 7 we have -myself, the Divas, Chelle, Mamacita, and Spike. We're an odd bunch. As such, some odd things come out of our mouths sometimes. In context, they make sense... out of context... well...

And so, without further ado, I introduce the new feature to Random Mental Messes: The RMM Weird Quote of the Day (all quotes will be actual things said in the course of what passes for "normal" conversation around here):

"Get that out of your mouth... you little freak..."

Take That, Matthew McConaughey!!!

Back in February or so, I went on a little spending spree and beefed up my CD collection. I mostly picked up compilations and greatest-hits collections, and among them was INXS' Greatest Hits. I hadn't realized how many of their songs I really loved, but more than that, it brought back pleasant memories.

I remember the video for "The One Thing," with its close-up shots of Michael Hutchence, his head slithering on his neck like a cobra, lips wet, with that slight lisp. Ooh, sexy. In fact, if he were alive, he'd be one of the Sexiest Men Alive. Instead, he's one of the Sexiest Men Dead.

Others? Well, of course, my beloved Jim Morrison. The rumpled wavy hair, the pouty lips, the perpetual darkness of his gaze... the leather pants... yes, Jim was undeniably sexy.

But hey, there are other sexy dead men besides white singers. For example, triple threat Gregory Hines. Singer, dancer, actor... Dancing with Sammy Davis Jr. and Sandman Simms in "Tap" and Mikhail Baryshnikov in "White Nights"... singing the duet "There's Nothing Better Than Love" with Luther Vandross... acting in many movies besides those already mentioned... The world lost a very sexy man in 2003.

But hey, there are others too... James Dean, who was incredibly sexy (despite substantiated rumors that he was either gay or bisexual)... Johnny Cash...

I'm noticing a trend, here...