Got to Meet One of My Soldiers for the First Time!

After about 6 months of soldier support, I got my first chance to meet one of my returning-home boys! David is a real sweetheart, a nice young man with such a good head on his shoulders... knows where he wants to go and what he wants to do in life, very matter-of-fact about his experiences in the war, and determined to make the most of his considerable gifts and talents. Extremely respectful, the kind of man that would make any mother proud (and if he ever reads this I bet he'll blush like anything, but it's true!!!!) and I was SO HONORED to get to spend a little time with him. Took him to lunch, talked about his plans for the future... Told him I would head up in about a month to Ft. Hood (where he's stationed) to meet a few of my other soldiers, and he was more animated than I'd ever seen (typed? LOL) him, making me promise to let him know when I was coming, and telling me how to get in at the gate, and if I had any trouble at all, to just call him and he'd come get me... It was so wonderful, to finally see him home, safe and sound and very well-adjusted. I hope he is just the first of many that I get to meet-and-greet, and reassure myself that they are not all coming home "walking on a thin line." God, that song and that phrase mean so much more to me now than I ever thought they would. God bless all our men and women serving overseas, and bring them home safe and sound, and at least halfway as together as my David is...

My Jim Morrison Theory

Okay, if you didn't think I was a total flake before, you will now. It all started in 1971... See, in 1971 my mom miscarried a baby that would have been born in late June/ early July. Later, she got pregnant again and had me, in September of '73. But apparently, when I was two years old, people would ask me how old I was and I would say "4"... and ask me when my birthday was and I would say "July." So my mom already kinda thought I was the baby she miscarried the first time. As I grew up, looking at horoscopes and the characteristics that were supposed to be attributed to various signs, we noticed that I was an odd blend of typical Virgo (late August - late September) and typical Cancer (late June- late July). Still later, looking at Chinese horoscopes, I was again a blend of the birthdates, though I lean much more heavily toward that July 1971 baby.

What does that have to do with Jim Morrison? Well, I'll tell ya... when I was VERY young my parents (mostly Daddy) listened to the Doors quite a bit, but pretty much stopped before I was old enough to consciously remember. When I was... 11? 12?... and the movie "The Lost Boys" came out, there was an Echo and the Bunnymen cover version of "People Are Strange" on the soundtrack. My sister and I both saw the movie the day it opened, but at separate times. Talking to our parents about it over dinner, I commented on this "new" song that I could somehow predict the words too... found myself singing along with it, even though I KNEW it was a new song. My sis laughed at me, pulled out the old Doors records (remember vinyl?) and showed me how I knew the song. I became a little fascinated with the Doors then, and have been ever since... listened to my dad's albums until I almost wore them out, got Greatest Hits as a birthday gift from that same wonderful sister... and went on to read his poetry, and eventually to read several biographies. (There was one released just last year that is particularly good; I got behind in my reading for grad school because I couldn't put it down. "I know I'm behind, but I swear, Jim's about to die and then I'll catch up!")

So what's the connection between the baby that wasn't, and Jim? At some point, I randomly fixed what I believe would have been my birthday, as July 3, 1971.

According to popular belief and official records, that is the day Jimmy died.

Now, I do not for a MINUTE believe he died exactly when and how they said he did. I'm convinced he faked his own death (read some of his peotry and self-interviews some time, he basically said he was going to do it), but I am equally convinced that he DID die sometime not too long thereafter. Sometime before, say, November or December of '72. Why? Because I think the reason I chose not to be born that first time, was so I could spend a little time hangin' out with my buddy Jimmy. Had to wait for him to come over, before I could head this way... To this day I have a somewhat unnatural obsession with him... Brooding young lion, misunderstood prince in leather pants... *sigh* Ah Jimmy... we hardly knew ye... but we'll meet again...

NEVER AGAIN!!!!

Never again will I fall for a guy in the Army.

Maybe Marines. No Army.

Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy (all you Redneck Women out there, who want to *grimace* Come Clean)

Okay, so you can probably guess... hmm... actually, those of you not living in Planet Texas may not know... that title means I have just spent the last three days going to the world-famous (if rodeos make up your world) Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo. www.hlsr.com Mind you, I don't go to see the livestock, or to spend $9 on a burger and $2.75 on a soda. (Hint: when going to the Rodeo, eat right before you go!) I go because you can actually see major performers on stage - mind you, for a briefer set than a stadium tour - for under $20. Saturday and Sunday were for my Katie, who turned 8 in January... we went to see Gretchen Wilson, who her father tells her is "her new stepmama," on Saturday, and Hilary Duff on Sunday. For that one, I lugged all three of mine, plus my niece and nephew, with the help of my mom-in-law and sis-in-law. (Saturday was the same group, minus the niece and nephew.) Let me tell you.. Hilary Duff set an all-time Rodeo attendance record, and if you've never been inside a large echo-y place with over 80,000 screaming pre-teens, you are one LUCKY person!!! Still, the kids all had a great time, so it was worth it... Last night, however, was MY night... Jeff Foxworthy (who I didn't even know was on the bill when I bought the tickets) and Big & Rich. Let me tell you, if you've avoided listening to these guys because you're not into country, that's no excuse. They call what they do "country music without prejudice" and they mean it! Lotsa great rock n roll guitar riffs, a 6'5" rapping black cowboy (Cowboy Troy, "Go Cowboy, go Cowboy, go!!!"), kicking off the show with a song that has the chorus "Why does everybody want to kick my ass?" Good times. When these guys come around on a stadium tour, I am THERE, even if it gets a little 'spensive. They put on a SHOW!

So anyway, that's where I've been and why I haven't posted in a few days... It was a real blast!

Favorite songs from the rodeo acts I've seen this year: Gretchen Wilson's "Redneck Woman," "Here for the Party," one she played that I don't remember the name of but it's about her little girl and also about mine, "Skoal Ring"... Big & Rich "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy," "Kick My Ass," "Wild West Show," something they played that I don't know the name of and didn't recognize, and "Holy Water," which for some reason they DID NOT PLAY!!!

A Good Name for a Band

My mom, my sister and I (who will soon become known to you for our odd little quirks in which my beloved father never shared, despite being a pretty cool guy with a wicked sense of humor himself) used to do this while I was growing up. We'd hear a phrase, or just think of something, that would make a good name for a band. I've since seen the same type of things in Dave Barry columns, reinforcing our long-held belief that some of the country's most venerated comics, have a live camera feed set up from our house. (Yes, I'm talking about you too, Bill Cosby...) Anyway, I heard a phrase this morning that, by changing the spelling of the second word, makes a pretty cool band name. The phrase was "celebratory morning," and of course the band would be Celebratory Mourning. (Obviously this is not a country band...)

So anyway, this "celebratory morning" was the 5th Annual Social Work Awards Breakfast, and we did have a fabulous speaker who was really motivating. Now, I don't know if I'm just buying into the propaganda, I don't know if there are hard facts to back it up, but I just feel like this is a really good time to be getting into social work. Maybe not money-wise, I don't think there's EVER a good time to get into social work money-wise. But in terms of the profession making some real strides, some real headway, into making people more aware of who we are, what we do, and what we stand for. We're more than just the people who take children away from their parents... SO much more! (Personally, I hope I never have to work in a job wherein that's part of my job description.) The GSSW at UH is a great place to be, too - I think we are the ONLY social work school in the country whose mission specifically contains promoting social justice, and (good for my little political-concentration self) our dean is also very much focused on that... on extending what we do WAY past the micro level and into making changes and influencing policy. I swear, if it weren't for the skeletons that would inevitably come out of my closet, I'm fired up enough to run for public office! Anyway, for now I'd better stick to my little micro-level job LOL and end this post... but I just had to get that out!!!

Celebratory Mourning... hmm...

Picked the Wrong Day to Stop Sniffing Glue

Okay, not sniffing glue... wrong day to be a smartass. But it wasn't me that picked the wrong day, it was my teacher.

So I'm in grad school, right? Where there are no blow-off classes (or at least shouldn't be) and where the teachers are pretty strict when it comes to attendance. You're just NOT supposed to miss. So you would THINK that anything being said in class, would be something important. Now normally I like this teacher, even though she's kind of hit-or-miss. Some classes seem productive, others not so much. Tonight was just agony.

She was going back and forth between our textbook and another. She would read fairly long statements or lists out of the other book... very quickly. So the second or third time she did that, I asked her to repeat it and she said it wasn't that important. JUST what I want to hear when I'm taking out several thousand dollars a year in student loans! But we move on, and a few minutes later she reads another list of stuff, then (smirking, it seems to me) looks up and asks if we need that repeated. So I'm starting to fume, but quietly. Finally, just a little later, she speed-reads another list and I literally drop my head to the tabletop and shake with silent I-Can't-Believe-This laughter. Meanwhile someone else asks for a repeat, and the teacher says it's just not that important. My question is - if it's not important, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU WASTING MY TIME WITH IT?!?!?!

So by this time I am writing a note to my friend sitting next to me, suggesting that I fake fainting, so she can "leave to drive me home." And by the mid-class break, I've decided I'm going home early. The official story is a migraine, and there is some truth to that... if I stay another minute, I WILL have one. I just know it. (Someone else suggests a seizure and worries that they will all tell different stories, prompting me to suggest that I complained of a headache, collapsed onto the floor in a seizure, and then fainted.... Not PC, but funny.) Just as we are going on break, the teacher suddenly remembers.. mid-term evaluation forms are due.

Now normally I write real nice reviews and never give the teacher anything less than the equivalent of a C+. Rarely give them worse than what amounts to a B. But like I said, she picked the wrong day.

So anyway, came home early, took a bath, and headed to BFS chat to find my friends.

Ego Trip

So I've been kinda thinking... I just started blogging yesterday, and certainly not about anything significant. I've given this link to just a few people, and was in IMs with them anyway, so the ones that commented at all, did it there. I DO have this link posted as part of my profile on BFS too, but I never hit anyone else's "WWW" button, so don't expect them to hit mine. And yet I'm still looking forward eagerly to the day when people post responses.

Now I've never done the blogging thing much before, and never been THAT into reading them, though there are some I know who read a lot of very good military blogs. My view, ATM, is that I already spend way too much time doing stuff I shouldn't be doing, and to get addicted to reading others' blogs won't help matters. The reason I'm really writing one - well, there are TWO reasons... one, I need to purge these random thoughts out of my head or else I develop a bad case of insomnia, and two, by making this a semi-public forum, I am slightly LESS likely to dwell on some subjects that I really need to put out of my head. Mostly the whole "men" issue, which in reading back you can see I have touched on... but just a little touch, and certainly not laden with details. (That purge is saved, when necessary, for my private computer.) As a newbie blogger and a non-blog-reader, I'm not sure what makes up a good blog, so if I'm screwing up royally, chalk it up to inexperience and then tell me (gently, please, as my feelings are quite bruised and battered these days) where I'm going wrong and how I can improve. Here's what I PLAN for this, though: 1) Weird random thoughts and ideas, like the Stones situation; 2) topics that come up in my grad school classes, where either we run out of classtime while I still have ideas to spew, or where I'd love the input of people NOT embedded in the field of social work/nonprofits/social services; 3) general issues that come to mind, where I would also like input from others, particularly those with differing viewpoints; and 4) Bragging, whenever the situation calls for it, about the three most beautiful little girls on the planet.

Current fascinations: The military/troop support; The Rolling Stones; spirituality and how and when it does or does not align with personal behavior; how people can have many things in common and still have big ideological differences

Worms in Apples

Sorry for that imagery, but it was the best way I could come up with to describe that feeling. I turned on my net radio this morning, and the first thing I heard was a sign of the apocalypse... Britney Spears singing "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction." Heresy! Sacrilege! It's just so... so... WRONG!!!

What else is wrong? Without naming names... me sitting here with a big ol' crush on someone, that more than a few people know about, as signs keep popping up that my interest is not exactly being returned. It was being returned, but now it seems kinda lukewarm. And I don't know if I'm paranoid, or if I was reading too much into it before. To be fair, I don't know what I want, and I know that there are women out there who do know what they want, and have more to offer than I do. It's just getting a bit frustrating, as it happens over and over again. And yes, I know the lesson I'm supposed to be learning here (or one of them anyway) but I'm just stubborn enough to refuse to acknowledge it.

And now I know, it's hitting me in the face even as I'm typing this. Exactly what Mick is trying to tell me, and exactly what my mama has been telling me for 31 years... No, I can't always get what I want, but it's high time I start trying to get what I need. I think I know what I need, and now I just have to do what I have to do to get it. I wish I could do it without hurting anyone in the process... oh my God... that's what "Illusions" threw at me the other day too... I feel as stream-of-consciousness as James Joyce, but I'm just getting hit with revelation after revelation, in the most unusual of ways. Ideally we should strive to get what we want/need without hurting anyone, but that's not an absolute responsibility... and why have I been so worried about not hurting one specific person, after all the hurt that person has brought into my life - possibly at the expense of others who are just "caught in the crossfire" so to speak.

Okay. So I have a drive I need to make soon... and an e mail I need to write RIGHT NOW! See ya...

The Wisdom of Mick Jagger

First of all, you have to understand that my family is not normal by a long shot... That said... Most kids, growing up, get pearls of wisdom from their parents like, "The darkest hour is just before dawn," or even, "If all your friends wanted to jump off a bridge, would you do it too?" But MY mother? Parenting by Mick Jagger... "You can't always get what you want!" Which, BTW, I have extended to my own kids, and the older two already know the appropriate response. (For those of you who are culturally deprived: "But if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.")

So I'm heading to work yesterday morning in my NEW MINIVAN *happydance* and "Beast of Burden" comes on the radio and catches my ear... and I get to work, and am listening to the Songwriters station on Radio@Netscape - oh, how I love my Internet radio! - when I hear another Stones song. Coincidence? I believe there is no such thing. So I'm guessing the Stones have something to tell me. Immediately I switch to the "Planet Stones" station on the same service where I hear this really cool reggae cover of "Wild Horses"... but I digress... Anyway, unless you are a subscriber, that service only allows you 2 hours of listening time per day, after which I usually switch to LAUNCHCAST, for which I HAVE paid a subscription fee. However, they don't have an all-Stones station.

So what is it the Stones are trying to tell me? I don't know... two days of two solid hours of Mick, Keith and the rest, has yielded nothing yet. If you have any idea what they're trying to tell me, let me know!

Expect more really weird ramblings like this... My mind is a scary place to be!