Madness...

I thought I'd seen everything, but this... this is surely a sign of the Apocalypse.

I was skimming through one of the least useful of the major nationwide job-hunting websites, and ran across an ad for - get this - a Director of First Impressions. Hmm.. Director, but with a salary in the mid-20s to low 30s. So I had to take a look and see exactly what that meant. Basically, from what I can see, they're looking for a receptionist.

Now, inflated titles have always amused me, particularly since I started working in workforce development. In the nonprofit world, there are things called specialists. "Specialist," at least in my field, is a glorified assistant/peon. And then there were my customers who were pursuing "degrees" to become things like a "nail technician" or "Microsoft Office specialist" or something. But "Director of First Impressions?!?!?!" That takes the cake. So I guess I need to revise my resume to include other things I have been, both professionally and non-professionally.

For example, I've been a "reproductive engineer" on three separate occasions. I've apparently been a "marketing specialist" (made flyers and brochures), a "copier repair technician, specializing in percussive maintenenace" (bang on the copier until it works again), a "communications specialist" (figured out how to set up a distribution list in Outlook), and a diplomat (listened to people bitch about co-workers and make appropriately sympathetic, if noncommittal, noises). I've been a corporate trainer (mostly teaching co-workers how to do things) and researcher (looking things up on the Internet for people who can't seem to manage that themselves). I'm also apparently a caterer and an entertainer. Why, with all the things I have done, it's amazing there isn't a line of people at the front door, waiting to hire me...