Stick-Polishing Day

I'm a huge fan of the books by Robert Fulghum. They're collections of essays and stories, and you're probably familiar with the one that prompted his first book, "All I Really Need To Know I Learned in Kindergarten." His stories are typically warm, funny, a bit nostalgic, a bit spiritual... my kinda thing.

I've been stressing a lot lately, over a lot of things. A wonderful friend reminded me just a few minutes ago, that I do have a lot of stress in my life, more so than most people. And it brought to mind one of the Fulghum stories I had read, many many years ago. I'll paraphrase it for you.

Sometimes there's just too much going on in life, and not enough going right. There are some days when you just wish you could stop, focus on one thing that you know you can do well, and do it. Fulghum suggests that everyone should have one day in their lives when The Powers That Be approach him or her, and relieve him or her of all duties, responsibilities, and tasks for that one day. Instead, s/he is given a stick. A medium-length stick, not too skinny but not too fat, and a rag, and some polish. That person's only job, for the entire day, would be to polish the stick. Nothing more, nothing less. Just polish the stick. To the best of his/her ability, to be sure, but still. Just polish the stick. At the end of the day, a small ceremony to honor the accomplishment. A proclamation that never before, in the history of the world, has a stick been polished in quite that way. A certificate of achievement, perhaps, or just a literal pat on the back for a job well done. But something. Some acknowledgement that one simple, seemingly meaningless task, has been done and done well.

I want my stick day. My day when I leave work and not worry that I haven't done something for someone that I should have, not worry that my job is in jeopardy now that the one person I knew for sure was on my side, has transferred. My day when I look at my daughters and know for certain that everything I'm doing to try and build us a better future, will really succeed, and that there isn't any irreparable damage being done in the interim. A day when I know there is a light at the end of the financial tunnel, when all of my utilities are turned on and paid up at the same time. My day when someone (who isn't my parent or sister!) tells me that yes, I am worthy, and yes, I count, and yes, my presence on this planet makes a difference. Someone to tell me, "Sara... ya done good."

Affirmation. I want affirmation. Of me, as a human being. Is that too much to ask?

I bid you adieu; I'm off to finish some homework, and then see if I can find a stick to polish.