Manisms

I lifted this from a friend's blog; I just couldn't help it. Though to be fair, I know a few men who aren't quite this bad.

THE FOLLOWING IS A LIST OF "MANISMS":

"I'M GOING FISHING"

Translated: I'm going to drink myself dangerously
stupid and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.

"IT'S A GUY THING"

Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern
connected with it and you have no chance at all of making it logical".

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"

Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH", "SURE, HONEY", OR "YES,
DEAR"

Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"

Translated: "I have no idea how it works."

I WAS LISTENING TO YOU IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."

Translated: "I was wondering if that red-head over there is wearing a bra."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".

Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."

Translated: "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."

Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F
Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES".

Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner
was a real babe."

"OH, DON'T FUSS. I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S
NO BIG DEAL."

Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but
will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING".

Translated: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."

Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched
hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"

Translated: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."

Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what
you just said and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."

Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me and realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC"

Translated: "Oh, God, please don't try on one
more outfit, I'm starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."

Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."