"Love You!"

One time, a few years back, I was at my mother-in-law’s house, talking on the phone with Hurricane Miah. Signing off on our conversation, we both said, “Love you!” in a happy, singsong voice. After I hung up, my mother-in-law commented that I am the only person she knows who does that – who says “I love you” to friends when saying goodbye.

Now, mind you, I don’t say that to all my friends. And most of the ones I do say it to, I don’t say every single time I talk to them. Hurricane Miah is one of the only ones for whom that is an automatic addendum to “goodbye,” but then again, it’s been many, many years since I stopped thinking of her as a friend and started thinking of her as family. I wouldn’t dream of not telling her I love her, any more than I would dream of not telling the same thing to my mother or sister.

Still, there are other people to whom I say it on a fairly regular basis. It’s not really something I think about, or make a conscious decision to do. It’s more like my subconscious’ way of letting me know that someone has become a really good friend – when I find myself saying it, I know that’s someone I care about, trust, enjoy spending time with. I’ve recently caught myself ending e mails that way, or saying it as part of goodbye, to two friends I’ve known for about a year. It’s always a pleasant surprise when I realize I care about someone that much.

It’s not reserved only for female friends, either, there are male friends who merit it too. I actually have one male friend right now, to whom I suspect I would say it daily if I didn’t think it would scare him away – that particular line between “friend” and “more” is blurred, and so I tread carefully. But there are other male friends who, like the above mentioned females, warrant it often.

Me, I can’t understand people like my mother-in-law, who rarely say it at all… I think the only people who hear it from her on a regular basis are the grandkids – not even her daughter or her mother. She sometimes says it to me, only when I say it to her, and it always feels like it’s a social response. When someone sneezes, you say “Bless you.” When your daughter-in-law says she loves you, you say, “Love you too.” I can’t imagine living a life where you don’t love your close friends, and I can’t imagine a life where you don’t express the love you feel for people, at least every now and then. I just believe you need to figure out who in your life you care about, who in your life you love, on whatever level – and then tell them. Tell them often. You never know when it will be your last chance, and you never know when hearing it will make someone’s day.