What's In A Name?

Got this as an e mail from a friend; if you don't like these kinds of things, just skip down to the end, where I actually have something to say...

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (your pet and street name)
Tabby Irving
2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on mother's side first name, favorite candy)
Florence Special Dark
3. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name)
S-Far
4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite animal, name of high school mascot)
Dolphin Bruin
5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Christine Vallejo
6. YOUR OPPOSITE SEX NAME: (name of opposite sex parent, cell phone Company you use)
Al Cingular
7. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (first 3 letters of your last name, last 3 letters of mother's maiden name, first 3 letters of your pet's name)
Farwiltab

Okay... so... this semi-relates to what I was thinking about this morning on the way to work. The radio was playing "Detroit Rock City" by KISS. Now, anyone who knows me knows that my mind jumps around more than a drop of cold water on a hot griddle, so it's only natural that the song got me to thinking (as any KISS song does) of just how hot Paul Stanley is... which made me think of Gene Simmons, who I wouldn't call hot, so much as eerily attractive. Then I thought, were they all hot? Who were all the members of KISS, anyway? Paul, Gene, Peter Criss... was Peter the one who left for a while and came back, or was that Ace Frehley?

Ace Frehley.

I'm guessing that's not his given name. I'm guessing most people (rock stars not included) don't usually name their kids things like "Ace." Because really, what are you setting that child up for in the future? What kind of job do you have, with a name like "Ace?" Not nickname, but given name. Not many doctors named Ace. Nor lawyers. Nor accountants, or human resource managers, or even teachers. Nope. Naming your child "Ace" limits him to things like race-car driver, heavy metal guitar player, pet detective... daredevil... entry-level auto mechanic (a noble profession, to be sure, but not something most parents wish for their children - make my kid the manager, please!)... adult film star... Yeah. Not many jobs with good earning potential, that it's also easy to break into as a career. Okay, maybe the film thing, but other than that...

So take heed, parents-to-be... leave your Ace's and your Apple's (dear God, Gwyneth Paltrow is pregnant again, are we expecting an Orange?) and your Myrikal's behind... or if you have to give your kid an odd name (says the mother of Coco) at least bury it within a normal one, or give the kid a more stable middle name to use. Because maybe all poor Ace Frehley ever wanted, was to be a CPA.